im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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