I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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