I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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