im six kinds of drunk right now
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
