I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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