I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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