ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
