after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
