I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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