my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
