No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
