Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
