yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have already put on my inside pants.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.