Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf

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  (650): i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf http://tfl.nu/sowb
  Replies (2) Good night (695) Bad night (1170)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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  (913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy
  Replies (53) Good night (5061) Bad night (969)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he's my edward cullen

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.

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  (202): he's my edward cullen (770): I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow. http://tfl.nu/ql06
  Replies (48) Good night (1328) Bad night (2176)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

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  (203): He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later. http://tfl.nu/9zcr
  Replies (33) Good night (11130) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift

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  (319): You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift http://tfl.nu/3fcv
  Replies (20) Good night (4850) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  thatta girl

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  (812): she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga. (1-812): thatta girl http://tfl.nu/kona
  Replies (28) Good night (5097) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high

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  (785): turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high http://tfl.nu/v57y
  Replies (20) Good night (1374) Bad night (5193)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.

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  (870): Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/xv3v
  Replies (30) Good night (3908) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.

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  (413): My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that. http://tfl.nu/auq5
  Replies (15) Good night (839) Bad night (5617)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?

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  (323): What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'? http://tfl.nu/kmm3
  Replies (10) Good night (2310) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.

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  (412): So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on. http://tfl.nu/mz2g
  Replies (6) Good night (1073) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.

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  (469): HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/uhfo
  Replies (5) Good night (1401) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.

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  (410): One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes. http://tfl.nu/j23w
  Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.

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  (901): Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life. http://tfl.nu/oxrc
  Replies (5) Good night (625) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Dude that's a hat trick!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.

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  (616): Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs. (1-616): Dude that's a hat trick! (616): I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out. http://tfl.nu/g50u
  Replies (8) Good night (1568) Bad night (296)

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