Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold. http://tfl.nu/7qjs
  Replies (22) Good night (1208) Bad night (4465)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy
  Replies (46) Good night (842) Bad night (5722)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals http://tfl.nu/iisz
  Replies (15) Good night (3498) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room (1-225): haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom? http://tfl.nu/q6me
  Replies (55) Good night (10435) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9
  Replies (23) Good night (815) Bad night (3896)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (298) Good night (74735) Bad night (2817)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup http://tfl.nu/58kh
  Replies (11) Good night (1087) Bad night (4433)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip http://tfl.nu/b5at
  Replies (12) Good night (3015) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/z7lt
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (2055)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, its January.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We're going to do the voices too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots. (303): Dude, its January. (970): We're going to do the voices too. http://tfl.nu/k3gb
  Replies (13) Good night (5391) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?! http://tfl.nu/tpho
  Replies (19) Good night (1179) Bad night (2384)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead. http://tfl.nu/61nj
  Replies (3) Good night (1588) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness http://tfl.nu/j7n1
  Replies (4) Good night (1502) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed" http://tfl.nu/i5mp
  Replies (6) Good night (1974) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago http://tfl.nu/bg9i
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (238)

Randomize