Texts From Last Night

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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes

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  (931): I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes http://tfl.nu/c6hz
  Replies (17) Good night (917) Bad night (1959)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i think the cat found all the blow we lost...

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  (269): i think the cat found all the blow we lost... http://tfl.nu/uqm6
  Replies (31) Good night (1438) Bad night (5570)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.

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  (425): i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life. http://tfl.nu/aawj
  Replies (15) Good night (1692) Bad night (5200)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.

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  (907): You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink. http://tfl.nu/mebb
  Replies (29) Good night (4329) Bad night (1043)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.

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  (484): I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations. http://tfl.nu/uf69
  Replies (7) Good night (3154) Bad night (714)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.

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  (319): This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner. http://tfl.nu/r7j7
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (2909)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands

  (845): View more from New York

  i made a dollar

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  (845): Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands (845): i made a dollar http://tfl.nu/0t5e
  Replies (7) Good night (3689) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.

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  (206): Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this. http://tfl.nu/t9dh
  Replies (4) Good night (2461) Bad night (1019)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

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  (514): bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister. http://tfl.nu/visn
  Replies (7) Good night (1374) Bad night (2231)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...

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  (419): Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great... http://tfl.nu/5p74
  Replies (1) Good night (1478) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?

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  (248): So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone? http://tfl.nu/dwpt
  Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (403)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook

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  (775): Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook http://tfl.nu/cps5
  Replies (5) Good night (1528) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.

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  (202): I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas. http://tfl.nu/fady
  Replies (0) Good night (1023) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.

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  (401): I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car. http://tfl.nu/oyb7
  Replies (3) Good night (247) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss

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  (315): Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought (1-315): Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss http://tfl.nu/2a6b
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (219)

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