Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends. http://tfl.nu/34is
  Replies (28) Good night (646) Bad night (4016)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  high people should be assigned attendants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): high people should be assigned attendants http://tfl.nu/w28j
  Replies (14) Good night (4214) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk. http://tfl.nu/yxee
  Replies (14) Good night (3444) Bad night (1571)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong http://tfl.nu/jy3c
  Replies (23) Good night (4254) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again. http://tfl.nu/9jrz
  Replies (18) Good night (7530) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside. http://tfl.nu/o1u3
  Replies (9) Good night (5585) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings. http://tfl.nu/tdjs
  Replies (13) Good night (3892) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone. http://tfl.nu/d9tx
  Replies (6) Good night (1736) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever. http://tfl.nu/x84m
  Replies (15) Good night (2726) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  "Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): "Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices. http://tfl.nu/nbbz
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye http://tfl.nu/lqr2
  Replies (1) Good night (1155) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner http://tfl.nu/9gah
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. http://tfl.nu/hpvl
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers. http://tfl.nu/lxb6
  Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober http://tfl.nu/r8u7
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (327)

Randomize