Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
