i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize