i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
