Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
