i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we made out on top of his cat.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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