Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
