I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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