i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
