i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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