someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wear drunk well.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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