all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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