I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
