you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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