once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
