You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
