Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
