Have you finally orgasmed yet?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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