Apparently you make a good broom.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
