p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize