lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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