Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
