I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
pop tarts are not kleenex
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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