the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
