guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
