I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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