I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
