I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
