I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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