I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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