Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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