We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
