clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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