you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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