we're blogging at a bar
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
