apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
