thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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