is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
