and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
