just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
