Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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