How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
