I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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