I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
