Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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