No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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